Building a good correction routine...

Here is a great article I received today and wanted to pass it along to all of you. Hope this is encouraging and helpful in our roles as parents:

Parenting Tip - February 14, 2008

Anger Confuses Correction
A good correction routine teaches children that they must change. Their current course of action will not work. It's unacceptable and needs adjusting. Unfortunately the clear message that the child has a problem and needs to work on it is sometimes missed because of parental anger. A parent's harshness can confuse the learning process. Instead of thinking, "I'm here taking a Break (a time out near you, where you can see them and hear them...not in their room) because I did something wrong," the child thinks, "I'm here taking a Break because I made Mom mad."

The child's focus changes from correcting what he or she did wrong to avoiding parental anger. A break is meant to bring about a HEART change! It's a time out for the Holy Spirit to work in our child's heart. It's important to remember that your anger is good for identifying problems but not good for solving them. When you're tempted to respond harshly, be careful to take a moment and think about what you need to teach in the situation. It's easy to react with anger when your kids do the wrong thing but it's more helpful to move into a constructive correction routine.

For example, Dad yells, "I've had it! I called you five times and you didn't come, so I'm not taking you to the party!" The child gets a mixed message. Is missing the party the consequence for not coming when called, or is it the consequence for making Dad angry?

Children who grow up with explosive parents learn to focus more on pleasing people than on living with convictions about right and wrong. They may learn to make changes in life, but not because they're determined to do what's right. Rather, they make changes to avoid upsetting people; they become people pleasers or just plain sneaky. Kids then believe that what they did was okay as long as Mom or Dad didn't find out. As long as no one gets angry, then there's no problem.

When you make a mistake and correct in anger, it's important to come back to your child and talk about it afterwards. Clarify what was wrong, why the consequence was given, and apologize for your harshness.

For more on correcting children, read chapter four in the book, "Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids,” by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller. For more information about building a strong and effective correction routine in your family consider the Heart Work Training Manuals and CDs. These manuals are used for in-depth training of parents both for individual study and also for mentoring others. You can learn more at www.biblicalparenting.org.

"Happy Heart Day!"

This was the sweet greeting I received from my kiddos this morning. They jumped on my bed and presented their valentines that had been hidden so very carefully under their pillows from the night before when Daddy helped them to sign cards and put into envelopes. As I tucked them into bed, they were just beaming with sneaky faces filled with joy.

My husband gave me a hanging rose heart wreath and heart fridge magnets with sayings on them. We are also looking forward to dinner with pizza for the kids and Chinese food for the parents. Also hoping for an early bedtime for the kids so that we can just hang out.

We are not going out on the town tonight as we have been "catching sneezes", if you know what I mean. :(

Here's part of a devotion I came across this morning. It is so appropriate for this "Happy Heart Day!"

The ultimate example of love:

"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to you own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death - even death on a cross!
~Philippians 2:1-11 NIV

"Light" moments...

The alarm was set for 5:30 a.m. on a Saturday morning. Not typical for a weekend, but there was a special reason; the opportunity for 15 women to huddle around their sewing machines, cutting mats, and ironing boards to make their own personal Log Cabin Quilt.

This quilt is so beautiful and easy to make! We had so much fun learning how to do this and it is something that could be a family heirloom for years to come. I will have to share pictures of what I did at a later time. Being that this quilt is for a someone special who reads this blog.

The log cabin represents the home. It was designed back in pioneer days and is one of the most popular quilting patterns.

We chose 7 different fabrics. One fabric is for the center squares of each block of the quilt. It represents the center of the home. In pioneer days they would use red as the center, since it represents love.

There are 3 “light” fabric choices and 3 “dark” fabric choices. The 3 light fabrics are all on one side of each quilt square, and there are 3 darks on the other side of each quilt square, that surround the center square. Compare the “light side” to our salvation and intimacy with Christ, weddings, babies, family and friends. The “dark side” of the blocks represents the trials and adversities of life. The “dark” moments of life help to draw us to the Lord and to grow us in our maturity. The “dark” moments in life help us realize how wonderful the “light” moments really are!

Having this opportunity to work on a quilt was so refreshing. It has been almost 5 years since the last time the sewing machine was dragged out for such a project. For a momma of little ones, it is very satisfying to work on something where completion is in sight.

I was also very thankful for my husband as he cared for the children all day. The kids had a great time enjoying their daddy. They first played a game of Chutes & Ladders, got the car washed, went to Toys R'Us to peruse the aisles, visited Cabela's to view the large fish tank of trout and then play a bit in the tents, and lastly stopped in at Carl's Juniors for lunch and climbing the play structure.

When mommy arrived home the kids were fast asleep. I soon followed their example. After nap time, we went to the Dollar Movie Theater and saw "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything", a Veggie Tales Movie. Very cute. Of course the big, bad pirate and the cheese curd's with teeth were scary for the kiddo's.

So we had a fun, full day of family fun. Treasuring these moments...

Wasn't very long ago...

that my son was 21 months old and my daughter was
3 months old in these pictures.

"2004"

We have been able to catch this same pose over the years
as they open their Christmas stockings.

"2005"

"2006"

As I was reviewing our picture file this photo got me all choked up.
They both look so "grown up" with their feet reaching to the
end of the couch and hanging over a little bit. They grow up so quickly.
Sniff, Sniff.

"2007"

Next milestone,
Their feet touching the ground.
Mine don't even do that on most couches. ;)

Let's chat over a cup of tea...

...and catch up.

Starting from Thanksgiving - this year seemed to be one of our favorites. It was made special with a visit from my husband's parents from Oregon. The kids were so excited and so were we.

Preparation for this Thanksgiving feast was so much fun.
My mother-in-law worked right along side me in the kitchen as we prepared a meal with all the fixings for 4 adults and 2 kids. :) As it should be - we had many leftovers. Mom shared her recipes for creamed peas and mashed potatoes, then I shared my recipes for the Turkey, Cornbread Stuffing, Gravy, and a Holiday Yam Dish.

The next thing I knew, she was offering to teach me how to make Homemade rolls and Cinnamon Rolls (my husband had a smile on his face!) I don't think I will ever forget the special time of fellowship and meal preparation we had together. She got me over the fear of using yeast and getting my hands in dough with flying colors! What was even more meaningful was that this roll recipe was first taught to her by own Grandmother. It is not one that has been recorded on paper, but remains in her memory. So as mom, prepared the rolls and taught me the techniques, I was carefully/frantically recording the different steps and measurements. I look forward to some day passing this recipe to my own daughter.

Since then, I have made another batch of Cinnamon Rolls. The entire process went very well, although next time I will use much more cinnamon & sugar. Mom says, "It should be flowing out of the rolls ". Mmm...

Here are some rolls that I made for my husbands work.

Although, a wager had been made with his boss and fellow coworkers that if they let my husband leave early that day, then I would make them cinnamon rolls. Of course clarification was in order! Were the rolls going to be made from tube refrigerator rolls or homemade ones? Was my husband going to be let go more than say half and hour before quitting time or a substantial amount of time? Joking - all in fun.

Next thing you know, my husband returned home from work a couple hours early, helped finish packing the car, and then the guys received these yummy treasures when we returned from our trip:

Had to show you these happy faces of the kids mixing colors of frosting for Christmas Sugar cookies. They really enjoyed the entire process and the mess. Sprinkles and candy bits!



We made our way to Oregon with only one road closure due to inclement weather and a truck accident. Then the next day, my sister got married. Here is a picture of her in her sweet and beautiful wedding dress. The shoulder straps were so romantic.

I liked the Bride & Groom Elephant's placed on their wedding cake.
So fun!
Just like the two of them.

Then a surprise!

On Christmas Day, at about 2:00 p.m., I received a call from other sister Tiffany, that her water had broke. She was having a baby! So I quickly went up to the hospital to be with her. It was such a special time to spend the next 12 hours with her, her husband, friends, and family. Sophia Daisy was born the next day at 4 a.m., weighing 5 lbs, 7 oz. Healthy and cute as could be. It was such a privilege to be there for the delivery. Since Sophia was originally due in early January, she was such a good little girl to be born when her auntie was in town. She was the first out of my 6 nieces and nephews that I was able to see as a baby. This event was really the highlight of the entire vacation. Something I won't forget. :)

Proud parents! Just minutes after baby was born.

After a week of visiting dear Oregon, we then returned back to our "home" in Idaho despite another road closure and more inclement weather. New Year's was a quiet night at home with hubby, staying up and watching a movie till' midnight, and then watching 10 minutes of network T.V. parties.

Looking forward to another full year!

Why?

Just recently, my little boy showed interest in why and how his body works? You know, those important questions:

How come by bones don't fall off?

Why do I yawn?

What's in my brain?

Our answer is "Well son..."

Word descriptions don't seem to do justice for the type of explanations that are needed. So, off to the Library we went. Checked out 2 books: "What's inside? My body" by Scholastic and "I Can Move" by Mandy Suhr.

Here are some of the activities we did to help understand how our bodies work:

~Ran in place for 30 seconds and then listened to our hearts thumping to understand the chest.
~We practiced doing the following movements and then found pictures of people dancing, crawling, sitting, walking, and bending and posted on a poster.
~Counted the different places that bend in our bodies, and then all the places in one foot.
~Talked about the difference between pushing, pulling, and lifting.
~Compared our bodies to that of plants and animals.
~Talked about how people move in different ways. Those who need wheelchairs and crutches in a house. Found places that it would be hard to move, like stairs.

This was so much fun. Just watching them sit there quietly soaking in the information and then jumping around in discovering how their body works. Good stuff! And a privilege to watch them learn.

Cheating time

For once TIME has been kind to us. Typically, with the time change that most of us experienced on Sunday - our household usually struggles with it. The kids sleeping, waking, napping, and eating schedules become totally off kilter. Truly, I think that Daylight Savings Time is a secret plot against parents. :)

But this time, the change has worked in our favor. It has helped tremendously with our kids "time to go to bed" routine at 8:00 p.m., instead of much later; like it was before. Now my husband and I look at the clock that reads 9:00 p.m. and strangely there are no kids around.

Another time saver has been getting haircuts for everybody. No more fighting the unruly calick's, hair falling in the face, finding that hair clip, and also trying to figure out what would look good with an outgrown hair style. It has been such a great help for those days that we have to leave the house.

Even, when we can "cheat" time - here and there - it just still keeps ticking on by. This morning, I found that one of my children had quietly climbed into bed along side of me. So I put him back in his bed. But wait, he was already in his bed! I was realized that I was actually holding my daughter. Then again, just before the alarm went off at 6:30 a.m., I woke to find another child in my bed. So this time I go to put her back in bed, and found that she was already in bed! I has been actually holding my son.

So it could have been that I was really tired and confused. More so though because these children are 18 months are apart in age. My daughter is growing taller. My son is also growing much taller. Now we have to swing to one side of the bedroom doorway as we walk by to avoid bumping his head. This is where time has not been so kind to us. Realizing how fast these little/big kids are growing. :(

Coffee Date

All last week, my husband said that he was looking forward to having a coffee date. The idea was to go to Fred Meyer's with the kids. Then check them into the "Play Land" and have a date with his wife for an hour.

Later, I had to admit to him, and now to you readers that I struggled with this date idea. I just knew for sure that at any moment the "Mommy Guilt Police" were going to come to our table with shaking fingers of shame on you - as we were enjoying our Starbucks Peppermint Mocha and Caramel Macchiato.

But you know my sweet husband reassured me that all was well. After finishing our treats, we then went on through the aisles (while ignoring the prices), and looked at the household and toy sections for future gift ideas. As our precious alloted time came to a close, we then walked hand in hand back to claim our children. The report was positive. They were fine. They were happy! So were husband & wife!

Catching up

...on pictures from September and October. Best do this before we say hello to November. Can't believe how fast October went. My favorite month of the year!

Here are some pictures of our little girl turning 3 years old:

Look at me - I'm 3!

Our little girl LOVES horses.
So deciding on the theme for her party was not too difficult.

A thrilled little girl who loves Appaloosa Horses, for sure!

Note to self: Do not serve caked after 5 p.m.

Keeps children up until midnight going potty.
We think it had to do with the frosting and Red Dye #40.

She got a horse stamp collection, an Appaloosa horse toy, animal farm shapes with holes and strings to sew with; along with a window gel Birthday Cake decoration from her Auntie; then a card and gift from Grandma & Grandpa. We also played "Pin the tail on the donkey (horse)".

All in all a very good day. I don't think I've ever heard my daughter talk and chat that much! She was very excited.

Job Title Change

Whew! So glad this week is done! It has been another busy one. I think that my title of "Stay at Home Mom" was changed to "Stay in the Car Mom". We were gone every single day along with 3 out of the 5 weeknights. Then Dad was gone for another business trip. Toward the end of this week the kids were falling apart.

This busy schedule is not my true desire for our family. My goal is to usually stay home for at least 2 days a week, even better would be three days. This helps me to manage my home better, care for my husband and kids, and save money with less gas usage, not going out to eat, etc.

I find that so often us moms say that we are "Stay at Home" Moms, but are rarely home due to the demands of our busy schedules. I know for me, this is an area that I constantly need to be balancing. Purposing each day and week for what is really important and lasting.

New Word

"Look Mom!" -
"It's an Appaloosa!"

Yes, my dear daughter who is almost 3 yrs. old shared these words with me.

It took me by surprise.

I guess with all the horse books we have been reading lately, they have started to make an impression on her.

This also reminded me of when I was a little girl. I became so enamored by Appaloosa's when my Uncle took me to a horse ranch and showed me the horse he rode. All I remember is that it was the most beautiful horse I had ever seen. So since then, there has been a special place in my heart for Appaloosa's. And now also in my daughter's.

Discovery walks

At least once a week the kids and I, sometimes the dog, will go on a bike ride around the neighborhood. They all really enjoy this time as we always find new things to talk about and discover.

This morning, my son's bike had a flat tire. So we decided to go for a walk instead. Besides, the wee little ones were ancy as could be and mom really needed some fresh air. Here are all of the things we talked about, learned, and did on this walk:

~Held hands
~Brought our elderly neighbor's newspaper to her front door that was left on the sidewalk by the paper boy.
~Talked about our favorite flowers.
~What colors they were?
~Why they looked like that?
~We saw a construction site with workmen, their trucks, and a crane.
~We talked about what the crane was doing.
~How the engine worked?
~Why the men were on the house and what their jobs were?
~Watched earth worms in puddles.
~Saw a big old tree that had a limb break away and had fallen down into the street.
~We found where the break was.
~Talked about how it landed and why it broke?
~How the branches would be cut up with saws.
~Who was going to clean it up?
~Wondered if the tree was okay and whether we should give it a band aid. :)
~Learned about directions: Left, Right, Stop, Go, Run to this post and stop there. Then do it again at the next post.
~We named the colors of the mailboxes.
~Watched & laughed at the squirrels playing in a tree.
~Counted the squirrels.
~Talked about why they eat nuts?
~Threw stones into the irrigation canal.
~Watched a dog fetch a stick in the water.
~Later saw a mommy duck with her ducklings.
~We counted the ducks.
~Noted how the ducklings always follow where their mommy goes.
~Counted all the American Flags.
~Talked about the colors, counted how many stars & stripes were on it, and what the name of the flag was.
~Pointed out airplanes and helicopters.
~Watched, but didn't touch the butterflies resting on the flowers.
~Talked about how they are a caterpillar, go to a cocoon, and then a beautiful butterfly.
~My son's favorite is the Swallowtail, "with the "legs" on the bottom of the wings", he says.

Our walk was full of discoveries. It became a true learning experience for our kiddos. It was such a precious time to see the world through their eyes. :)

Anniversary

My husband and I recently celebrated our 11th Anniversary. This was a pretty important year for us. We have seen God move in amazing ways and we are closer than ever before, because of Him.

Leaving our small group meeting the other day, we heard the words, "Congratulations on your anniversary". I thought to myself, "Yeah, this is something to celebrate." There was that sense of accomplishment when you have worked hard at something. And the blessing of seeing the fruits of your labor can be seen soon thereafter. We have much to be thankful for. :)

For the actual day of our anniversary, August 10th, we went to dinner and the movies. A sweet woman from our group gifted us with free childcare for our two children that night. We went to McGrath's Seafood House. For an appetizer we had coconut shrimp. The main entree's were Red Snapper with a crab cake topping and lobster sauce drizzled on top, for me ,and then my husband had the Louisiana Catfish. Both of them tasted just wonderful. Not to mention the Clam Chowder!

We then went to see a movie at the Edward Cinemas. Our first movie alone as a couple in 5 years (I know - we need to fix this. We usually rent movies). The movie we watched was "Borne Ultimatum." It was great! - action packed, fast cameras, and good intrigue. A must see for those of you who are fans of the previous 2 Borne movies.

Happy Anniversary My Beloved!

Family...

Here is a picture of the guys just after they had hiked up
Mt. Constitution.

Their entire journey on Orcas Island turned out to be 50 miles
of bicycling and hiking.

Here's looking to next year!

It's back!

The sparkle in my daughter's eyes is back now! :) She is feeling much better. Even trying to wrestle with her daddy. Yeah!

Thank you PBS!

My little girl has been in love with latest Idaho PBS series on Wild Horses. I don't know what it is about little girls and horses. They just go together.

She grabs all her horses when this evening show comes on and lines them up. Our daughter has an entire family of horses. She recently received a "Daddy Horse" from her Grandma Hertel. Of course the horses come with us when we go places in the car and Mommy is careful to locate these childhood treasures before bedtime. Let's not talk about what happens when one of them falls out of the bed. :)

A few other favorite PBS shows that my kids have enjoyed are the one's on Ferrets and another one on Stellar Seals.

Angora Fire Update

Good news!

My grandparent's home is safe. With 70% or more of the fire contained. The threat is dissipating and many firefighters are going home or being reassigned to other fires in the Nation.

After being evacuated from their home for almost a week, they returned Saturday morning. They are now unpacking all the clothes, pictures, and other valuables taken out when fleeing from the fire danger. They were the lucky ones as so many lost their homes.

My Grandma, shared with me that there were so many people in church on Sunday. There are lots of people needing hope right now.

Please continue to remember the South Lake Tahoe Community in your prayers.

Bad News/Good News

The Bad News:
Yesterday, my little boy and I opened the front door to pick up our newspaper from the porch. Next thing I knew, our dog Shadrack jetted by my legs and out across the street to another dog that was being walked by his owner. I began to yell at him to come and stop. Although, he gets along really well with other dogs, I just didn't want his charging toward them to frighten the lady who was walking her dog.

In an unreal moment, in a split second, Shadrack was hit by a Jeep. He was broadsided and tumbled by the impact. But he got up and ran into the house. The owner of the Jeep, asked if he was "okay"? All I could reply was "I don't know!" as I headed for the house, realizing that my little boy just saw his doggy get hit. I quickly shut the door and turned my attentions on assessing the damage to our dog and calming a little boy.

Luckily, our dog was able to walk, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to carry him into the car and take him to the Animal Hospital. I called my husband on the cell phone, who was at church helping with set-up. He would meet us at the hospital. So I loaded the kids up and the dog and went on our way.

GOOD NEWS:
The exam showed that Shadrack's abdominal area was very tender and it was difficult for him to sit down or jump up. The doctor gave him some pain shots and x-rays. The kids and I spent all morning at the hospital and they did extremely well in the waiting room. There were some really good toys and books available to them. Shadrack's test results came out clear. So we were able to take him home, give pain pills, and monitor for any other concerns.

He seems to be in better spirits this morning. We are so thankful that he is alive and well for the most part. I don't know if I will ever be able to clear the image of our dog's accident from my mind. My hope and prayer is that it will be cleared from my son's memory. Being 4 years old - we hope!

On the way to the hospital, I was so touched by my son's compassion. You see, there was a tense silence as we were driving along. Then from the back seat I heard my son say, "Mom, I love you. Shadrack is going to be okay. God will help us". It was so special to see how God was ministering to me through my son. Tears welled up in my eyes. :)

OTHER BAD NEWS:
Our car has issues:
~Brake light is on. They are 90% gone. Makes a grinding noise when driving.
~The engine light is on. Crack in exhaust pipe.
~Problem with the A/C belt? There is a very high pitch squeal when starting the car and sometimes when driving.
~The front CV Axels are both blown.
~Air Filter needs replaced
~Transmission Fluid, Brake Fluid, and Anitifreeze need topped off.
~Anything else?
~There is a tail light out.

GOOD NEWS:
The car is at the shop this morning getting the CV Axels fixed and the AC Belt tightened. Although, this means I don't have a car today or longer, it sure will be worth having some of its issues taken care of. Then my husband will work on the brakes and fluid issues. He is handy that way. :)

In Retrospect:
Before going to bed last night, I told my husband that I didn't want to have another day like I had today! Although, it felt unbearable, I was able to remember that God was with me. He was there helping me to make all the decisions that came up. I kept throwing out these "911" prayers: "Help!"; "What do I do with the dog?"; "Who do I call?"; "Lord, what do I do now?"; "What medical procedures do I approve for the dog?"; "How am I going to pay for this?"; "How do I bring peace and understanding to my children?". God was there every step of the way.

I am so thankful that His mercies are new every morning!

Shadrack getting his fur brushed out
by our little boy and Grandpa.

A close-up of Shadrack and our little girl.

Things kids say...

There are special joys that one receives when they are a parent to toddlers. One of those things is hearing your child say a new word. Even better is hearing them say the new word in its proper context:

The other day, our little boy was bugging his sister. So his mommy said, "Do you think that was very kind thing to do to your sister?" He paused and thought for a moment. He then said, "Maybe?" I was looking for a simple "Yes or No". Not a gray area. ;)

Another time, we caught him saying, "Mommy, I did well!". His parents usually say something like, "You did a good job." Someone else has been teaching him proper grammar. Hmmm...

We asked him, "Who taught you that word?" He says, "My teacher, at church."

We do know for sure though that our 2 year old girl is picking up on what her parents are saying, because this is what we heard coming out of her mouth: "Do you understand me?"

Breakthrough!

**Warning this post has lots of Potty Talk :)

Our 2 year old girl is doing very well in the area of potty training. She can go "pee & pooh" in the toilet and isn't afraid of it. All good things. The last skill to master was actually going to the potty when the urge came.

This last week, she'd been taking off her diaper, along with all her clothing, anywhere , anyplace, every time she soiled it . I was finding clothes and diapers everywhere. It was getting to the point of just letting her run naked all day (not really). It seemed like she didn't like the feeling of being wet.

We then introduced the Princess "Big Girl" pants that Grandma Hertel recently gave her. She took ownership of these very quickly. Where she wanted to pull them up all by herself. It was also so cute when Mommy would tell Daddy that Emily went potty on the toilet today and that she had "Princess" underwear on. She'd get embarrassed. Girls! My little boy would gladly show off his Superman underwear.

So yesterday, I noticed that her diaper was still dry in the morning. She held it all night! So I rushed her in to the potty.

Then the rest of the day she got to wear "Big Girl" underwear and didn't have an accident all day!

Then this morning, we heard her get up and walk into the bathroom, take off the night diaper, and go potty all by herself!

We gave her plenty of cheers and a few M&M's for her efforts. Then we asked if she wanted her "Big Girl" underwear on? She said, "Yeah!".

Good stuff. :)